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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988628">In The Cold Light Of Morning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StacyHolmes/pseuds/StacyHolmes'>StacyHolmes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Memory Loss, Some Humor, hurt!Jaskier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:47:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,833</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StacyHolmes/pseuds/StacyHolmes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaskier gets into an accident that results in him losing a memory of past four years of his life. </p>
<p>The life, involving his husband and child.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>273</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s becoming sort of a bad habit of Jaskier’s. He wakes up, he makes a stupid decision, he gets beaten up by some jocks. This time, however, it must’ve been an <i>extremely</i> stupid decision considering that he wakes up in a hospital and not in his tiny, cramped dorm room. </p>
<p>Jaskier groans softly and blinks his eyes several times to clear up his vision. It’s all white around him, which hurts his eyes a great lot, but he forcibly keeps them open to investigate the room a little. </p>
<p>Last thing he remembers is drinking his mind away with his mates at the local pub.  What the fuck did he do next is a big question. He probably needs to call the nurse, but when he tries to say something his throat closes up and he’s thrown into fit of cough on the verge of throwing up. There’s something in his throat that almost makes him suffocate. He can vaguely hear someone screaming next to him and the next moment the nurse is in the room, calling for someone else over her shoulder. </p>
<p>The procedure of removing the tube from his throat is fucking painful and lasts longer than he expected, but after it’s over he’s finally free. Jaskier takes a shaky breath, all by himself, and only has half a second to panic about severity of his condition before someone grabs his hand. </p>
<p>“Papa?” Tiny voice calls and Jaskier looks down to find a small girl looking up at him, her eyes wet like she’s been crying and wow, he’s not in the condition to deal with kids right now. </p>
<p>“I’m-“ He tries to speak, but his voice is creaky and barely there. So he just shakes his head at the girl trying to convey the idea that he’s <i>not</i> actually her parent. </p>
<p>“Are you okay, papa?” The girl quips again, tears now rolling down her pretty face and it’s all just a little bit too much. Why won’t nurses take her to her actual father? She’s clearly lost and Jaskier needs his rest. First, though, he needs to know what the hell is going on. </p>
<p>He looks up and catches the eyes of his nurse, who’s been fiddling with some very scary looking equipment by his bed. She smiles at him softly. </p>
<p>“You’re in a hospital Mr. Pankratz. I’m afraid you’ve been in quite a severe accident, but the surgery went without a hitch and you’ve only been out for two days, which is an optimistic index.” Nurse says. </p>
<p>He’s not sure what can be optimistic about this whole situation, especially with a child crying next to him. The nurse pats the girl lightly on the shoulder, saying that everything is okay, but nor the girl neither he, himself, seem to believe it.</p>
<p>“Papa!” She cries again, squeezing his hand so tightly Jaskier can feel the tug of the needle still in his vein. He winces and slowly extracts his hand from the too tight grip. </p>
<p>“Not your-“ He whispers, barely audible. “I’m not your father.” </p>
<p>He tries to say it as gently as he can but girl’s face falls the instant his words are out. Her eyes are full of tears, and hurt, and betrayal, and Jaskier is so, so lost. </p>
<p>Nurse is suddenly at his side, blocking the girl from him, or vice versa. He’s not sure anymore. </p>
<p>“What is the last thing you remember, Mr. Pankratz?” Her voice is stiff, but professionally calm. It’s unsettling. </p>
<p>Jaskier is about to answer her when the door to his room opens with such a force it’s almost thrown off it’s hinges. The man, who looks not unlike a Greek God, storms inside. It’s all overwhelming enough for Jaskier to pass out again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sorry it takes so long! Thank you for your support ❤️</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jaskier wakes up the strong sense of dejavu encompasses him. He’s in a hospital bed again and there’s a little girl beside his bed. She doesn’t speak to him again, thank God, but she looks at him with wide eyes and it’s not much better. </p>
<p>“Hey.” He croaks. “Where’s your parents?”</p>
<p>“You’re here. Daddy’s talking to the doctor.” The girl answers, looking too serious for a child of such age. </p>
<p>“I know I’m here, little one. But should you be here?” He tries again. </p>
<p>Girl’s lips start to wobble and Jaskier really wants to be unconscious again. Or have a word with the stuff. The whole situation is ridiculous. </p>
<p>“Dad!” The girl yells and Jaskier winces. At least she’ll be collected by her father soon. Small miracles. </p>
<p>The door to his room opens and the man he saw before passing out comes into his view. So it is his runaway child’s been keeping him a very confusing company. </p>
<p>“Jaskier. You’re awake.” The man says. It’s probably weird that he knows his name? Or maybe it’s not. If he’s a nurse, or a doctor. Very hot doctor. With a very loud child. Jaskier is so, so lost. </p>
<p>“Um, yeah. Are you my doctor or something?” Jaskier asks. He also wants to ask if he’s allowed to take his kid to work, but his throat still hurts and he doesn’t feel like talking too much. </p>
<p>“No.” The man answers. “I’m- Ciri, can you go find Miss Jackson? She’s just by the register.”</p>
<p>Once the child reluctantly leaves, the man places himself in a chair by Jaskier’s bed and looks at him with such sorrow expression that Jaskier thinks he’s here to announce that he’s dying or something. What a cruel way to deliver the news, he thinks, from the most handsome man on the planet.</p>
<p>“What do you remember, Jaskier?”</p>
<p>“As I tried to say to the nurse, before you quite rudely interrupted me – I was partying with my mates, we celebrated the end of our exams. I probably had too much to drink, because after that I remember nothing.”</p>
<p>The man hides his face in his hands and lets out a soft groan, and okay, Jaskier is about to panic for real now. </p>
<p>“What?” He demands, as loud as he can. “Am I dying?”</p>
<p>Amber eyes shot up to look at him.</p>
<p>“No!” The man says. “No, you’ll be fine. The surgery went well, you’ll recover.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Jaskier breathes. “But why do you look like someone hit you with the truck, then?”</p>
<p>The man winces and Jaskier sighs. </p>
<p>“Yeah, right, bad-timed joke. But really? What’s wrong with me? And who are you?”</p>
<p>“You seem to suffer some form of amnesia.” The man finally replies. “And I’m Geralt. Your husband.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If it wasn’t so painful, Jaskier would laugh. Really. His husband? Husband? He’s twenty four years old, he doesn’t date anyone for longer than several months. Husband? Ridiculous. </p><p>“You’re kidding.” He says. </p><p>“I’m not.” Geralt answers shortly. “I can show you our marriage certificate if you want.”</p><p>“No, really, did Valdo pay you to play the trick on me? Is that why you’re here? You’re an actor? Is your name even Geralt?” Jaskier fires the question after question and ends up coughing violently, but he needs to know what the fuck is going on.  </p><p>“Easy, please. You shouldn’t talk so much just yet.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t tell lies!” Jaskier croaks. </p><p>“I’m not telling lies. I’m not an actor. I’m your husband.”</p><p>“The fuck you are! As if I could trick <i>you</i> into marrying <i>me</i>. It’s a very cruel prank and I’ll tear Valdo’s balls off with my teeth.” Jaskier says. Then takes a second to think about what he said. “Not with my teeth, I take it back. It’s gross.”</p><p>“Shut up for a minute and listen, before Ciri comes back.” Geralt pleads. </p><p>“The girl!” Jaskier interrupts him. “There was a girl here! She cried all the time. Is she an actor, too? The tiny one?”</p><p>“She’s not an actor.” Geralt growls. “She’s your daughter. Our daughter.”</p><p>This time, Jaskier laughs out loud. </p><p>“If you though that would make your story more believable, you were drastically wrong, my friend.”</p><p>“It’s not a goddamn story! Jaskier, she’s our daughter, we adopted her almost three years ago. You terrified her when you told her you’re not her father. Please do not repeat that in front of her anymore. And let me explain.” Geralt whispers frantically. He barely manages to finish before the door opens again and the nurse leads the girl – Ciri – inside. </p><p>“Are you feeling better, papa?” Tiny voice asks. Jaskier looks at Geralt and he watches him with such sad, pleading eyes, that Jaskier just gives up. If it’s all a stupid show he’ll totally kill Valdo. </p><p>“I am.” He answers finally, smiling at Ciri. She comes closer to inspect him. </p><p>“You remembered that you’re my papa?” She whispers and something breaks inside of Jaskier. No child can be that good of an actor. His head swims and he really wants to talk to the doctor. Ciri watches him with her enormous, sad eyes. Geralt takes his hand in his bigger one and squeezes, gently. Good God, what is his life? </p><p>“I did.” He lies. “I’m sorry I forgot and upset you.”</p><p>“It’s okay.” Ciri surges forward and hugs him awkwardly. “Just don’t forget anymore, okay?”</p><p>“I would never.” Jaskier whispers through the lump in his throat.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ciri doesn’t leave his side for a minute. Jaskier doesn’t know how to act so he blames everything on his current situation and talks as little as possible and keeps sending pleading looks to Geralt. He needs explanations and he needs them now. How on earth is he supposed to act like a father to a child he’s never seen before? </p><p>“Aren’t you hungry, little one?” He asks, hoping to provoke her to take a trip to cafeteria, so he and Geralt can talk- but right, yes, there’s no one to actually take her to cafeteria except for Geralt. Stupid plan. Jaskier wants to cry but keeps his face carefully blank. </p><p>“No, I ate a sandwich while you were asleep. Ham sandwich, papa!” Ciri says it with such a proud expression that Jaskier suspects there’s a story behind ham sandwiches. Maybe she hated ham and they managed to make her like it. Who the fuck knows? He’s so fucked. </p><p>“Good for you!” He praises gently and looks at Geralt for confirmation. He nods, silently, and his eyes are so sad and thoughtful that Jaskier doesn’t feel the slightest joy for guessing right answer. </p><p>They’ve been alone in a room for good forty minutes and Geralt barely said a word to him, which is frustrating considering that he’s the only one capable to enlighten Jaskier on the whole story. </p><p>More than anything Jaskier wishes for it all to be a bad dream. He wants to wake up in his dorm room again and for his biggest problem to be an upcoming deadline for his philosophy paper. </p><p>Jaskier is about to pretend to be asleep, just to avoid two pairs of sad eyes boring holes in him when the door opens and two men step in. They’re both as big as Geralt and look right up intimidating. Great. He moves his hand to Ciri’s shoulder and draws her closer to himself. </p><p>“Jas!” One of them hollows, his face splitting into the biggest smile. “So you’re not dead, after all!”</p><p>“Lambert.” The second one hisses. “You’re scaring Ciri. Shut it.”</p><p>So they know Ciri and mean no harm. Just more people he’s forgotten. Nice. Nice, nice, nice. </p><p>“Oh, come on, cub!” Lambert laughs, placing his hand on Ciri’s hand. “You know I’m joking, right? Your papa’s all good.”</p><p>“Yeah, Geralt, you can breathe out now.” The second one smiles softly. “The worst is over now.”</p><p>Oh, if only he knew. Geralt sighs loudly, clearly agreeing with Jaskier. </p><p>“I need to talk to a doctor.” Geralt finally says. “And you should take Ciri to get ice cream.”</p><p>“What? No!” Lambert frowns. “We just came. The flower barely spoken a word to me!”</p><p>The other man, however, seems to catch up. He looks at Geralt questioningly, but thankfully doesn’t say anything. </p><p>“Lambert, please.” </p><p>And it is clear that Geralt doesn’t usually talks like that, so Lambert nods, and bends to take Ciri in his arms. Only then does Jaskier realize that he’s still holding the girl for dear life and relaxes his hand hastily. </p><p>“But I don’t want to go!” Ciri whines, once in Lambert’s arms. He whispers something to her that seems to placate her and with the one last look at Jaskier leaves the room. The other man lingers while Geralt stops by Jaskier’s side to tell him that he’ll be back shortly. Jaskier only manages to blink at him before they’re both out of the room. </p><p>Half an hour passes before Geralt is back and Jaskier is ready to crawl out of his own skin. The destiny, of the bitch is really, hates him with passion. And he totally returns the feeling. </p><p>“Sorry it took so long.” Geralt mumbles as he sits beside him again. </p><p>“What did the doctor say?” Jaskier demands. </p><p>“They still need to run some tests, but apparently the memory loss is not completely unexpected reaction to a trauma. They assume it to be temporary though.”</p><p>Okay. Temporary he can work with. Temporary is fine. Unless it turns out to be not temporary and then the easiest option is clearly to drown himself in the nearest lake.  </p><p>“Jaskier. You’re hyperventilating.”</p><p>“No shit!” Jaskier shills. “I lost god knows how many years and I don’t remember my own child! Do you expect me to calm?”</p><p>“No.” Get says. “But I need you to at least try. The memory will come back.”</p><p>“Will it?” Jaskier glares at Geralt and okay, maybe it’s not fair to take his anger out on him, but life is apparently never fucking fair. </p><p>“It will.” Geralt answers, jaw set. He’d look murderous if he wasn’t so damn attractive. Which is decidedly not something Jaskier should be thinking about right now. </p><p>Jaskier takes a deep breath and tries to control his voice when he speaks again. </p><p>“What do we do before it does?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TW for some traumatic experience for child in foster care. </p><p>Thank you so much for reading ❤️</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Geralt hates this. He hates the man who took the wrong turn and crashed into Jaskier’s car. He hates that his husband is hurt. He hates the he doesn’t remember that he’s his husband. And, most of all, he hates that he can’t just comfort Jaskier and has to persuade him to pretend to remember instead. </p><p> </p><p>Jaskier deserves his rest, he deserves to not be pushed. But Geralt knows that the can’t drop this charade, because it’d be too much for Ciri. The girl spent enough time in foster care and lived through enough trauma. The adaptation was bad enough the first time, they can’t put her through it again. </p><p>So he and Jaskier make a plan. Geralt tells him of their life together and it’s nothing short of terrible. </p><p>“Oh, God.” Jaskier whispers. “But how could a small child like her eat so much?”</p><p>“I think while in foster care there wasn’t enough food. She couldn’t eat whenever she wanted to do she learned to eat as much as she could when food was available.” It still pains Geralt to talk about it. </p><p>“How did you teach her not to overeat?” </p><p>“I wasn’t very good at it.” Geralt admits. “I would let her have whatever she wanted and then she would eat until she threw up.”</p><p>“Fuck.” Jaskier sighs. </p><p>“Yes.” Geralt agrees. “But you were so much better, smarter about it. You measured the food, came up with snack system. It was hard, she kept crying, but you were persistent. Almost a year passed by the time she started eating normally.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine myself doing that.” Jaskier admits. </p><p>“You were brilliant.” </p><p>“I just-“ Jaskier sighs again. “She went through so much shit. And now she seems so normal. I can’t believe I almost flicked it up for her.”</p><p>“Wasn’t your fault.” </p><p>“Still. I need to know more.”</p><p>So Geralt tells him. Tells him all about sleepless nights, about Ciri asking strangers for food, about how she would call every man “dad” for the first five months they had her. With every bit of information Jaskier seems to sag more and more into his bad. </p><p>“I never thought adopting a child was that hard.” Jaskier rubs his face. “It’s just- so much. Too much.”</p><p>“It was. But it was worth it. She’s amazing kid. She is smart and compassionate and she’s as developed as her peers now.”</p><p>“But how do I act around her?” Jaskier asks, his tone on the verge of being desperate. “How do I not trigger her, or something?”</p><p>“Don’t talk about the time before we adopted her – she doesn’t like talking about now. Besides that, nothing is likely to trigger her. She’s still not completely over her attachment disorder, though, that’s why she was so scared when you told her you weren’t her parent.”</p><p>It sounds awful lot like blaming Jaskier, and Geralt wants to take his words back immediately because none of this was Jaskier’s fault. It was his for letting Ciri stay in the room without him. </p><p>“I am so, so sorry Geralt.” Jaskier says. “If only I knew-“</p><p>“But you didn’t.” Geralt interrupts him. “You have nothing to blame yourself for.”</p><p>“What if she thinks she’s not loved or something? Considering her own father has forgotten her?</p><p>“I told her you hit your head and forgot everything for a second but now you’re fine. She knows you love her, even if you don’t know that now.”</p><p>They’re quiet for some time and Geralt tries his best not to panic, but it’s hard, because what if Jaskier won’t remember? He doesn’t remember loving them, being their family, and Geralt can’t just guilt him into staying. </p><p>“What if I won’t remember?” Jaskier asks, so quietly Geralt almost thinks it’s his own thoughts echoing through the white hospital walls. </p><p>“I don’t know.” Geralt admits. “But I won’t make you stay.”</p><p>“What about Ciri? What will you tell her?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“You should go home tonight.” Jaskier says, after several minutes. “I need to be alone for a while, I’m sorry. It’s just all too much.”</p><p>Geralt understands. He does, even if it makes his heart ache. </p><p>When Lambert and Eskel come back he meets them at the door and doesn’t let anyone enter the room. He takes Ciri home, even when she cries and kicks her feet all the way to the car.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, in this one you’ll witness Lambert being softie and a huge ass almost at the same time! I’ve decided it’s time to put some humor and fluff into this angsty mess ;)</p>
<p>Let me know what you think ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning comes too soon. Jaskier is still tired, his whole body aches and he just wants to sleep, but doctors have other things planned. He goes through all the necessary test, complaints only a little and asks tons of questions, most of which go unanswered. </p>
<p>What he gains is that he is stable, his ribs are going to heal without too much trouble if he lays down for next couple of days, his left leg, though, is going to hurt like a bitch for foreseeable future. These are not exact words the doctor used, of course, but that’s what Jaskier heard anyway. </p>
<p>He expected Geralt and Ciri appear by the time he’s back in his room, but it’s still empty and he’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed. He doesn’t have any power left in him to dwell on it for now, though, so he falls asleep. </p>
<p>When he wakes, a little more rested this time, there’s a man in Geralt’s chair. Well, not Geralt’s, of course, but the one that he usually occupies. </p>
<p>“Lambert? Hi.”</p>
<p>“You remembered me?” Lambert perks up a little in the chair. </p>
<p>“Just from last time you’ve been here.” Jaskier smiles softly and Lambert’s shoulders sag visibly. </p>
<p>“Sorry.” Jaskier says awkwardly. </p>
<p>“Nothing to be sorry for, little one.” Lambert frowns. “Not your fault.”</p>
<p>“I’m not little.” Jaskier frowns, too. </p>
<p>Lambert looks at Jaskier pointedly. </p>
<p>“Okay, maybe compared to you I am.”</p>
<p>“And Geralt. And Eskel.”</p>
<p>“Is Eskel the other man from yesterday?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. The ugly one.” Lambert grins. Jaskier lets out a surprised bark of laughter. </p>
<p>“I actually thought he was kinda hot.” He admits, because it’s true, but also because it makes Lambert gape at him. </p>
<p>“What! Clearly I am the hot one out of three of us.”</p>
<p>“Then why I married Geralt?”</p>
<p>“He found you first.” Lambert grumbles. “Pure luck.”</p>
<p>“Oh I see.” Jaskier smiles. It’s easier with Lambert, he realizes. There’s no obligations here. He doesn’t seem to expect anything from Jaskier. </p>
<p>“So how are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“Besides from forgetting couple of years, I’m better.”</p>
<p>Lambert nods, silently. His face is neutral, but Jaskier can tell it’s carefully controlled to be this war. </p>
<p>“Oh come on,” Jaskier sighs. “I’m fine. Stop brooding, I get enough of that from Geralt.”</p>
<p>“You speak just like yourself.” Lambert smiles at him and <i>are his eyes wet? </i></p>
<p>“If you cry, I’ll take a needle out of my arm and stab you in the leg.” Jaskier threatens. </p>
<p>“Fair.” Lambert laughs wetly. </p>
<p>“Good. Now tell me about Geralt. He’s always this quiet or is it because of the situation?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Lambert starts, his face suddenly clear, eyes gleaming but no longer with tears. “What you need to learn about the man is that he’s a big laugh. He pretends to be all serious, but it’s a facade. Don’t let him fool you.”</p>
<p>“Right.” </p>
<p>It sounds a bit strange, but Lambert, at least now, knows Geralt better, so Jaskier has to trust him, doesn’t he?</p>
<p>“Yeah. He likes it when you tease him. Make fun of him, flirt a little with Eskel and me, it’s all fun, he thinks it’s hilarious. All these black leather clothes? Just for show. He likes soft things.” Lambert stars to list things as if he spent whole night preparing this weird presentation. </p>
<p>“I feel like I should start making notes.” Jaskier sighs. </p>
<p>“Keep up, little one.” Lambert laughs. “The most important thing – Geralt hates silence. Turn on the radio, sing yourself, play the guitar. Preferably all at the same time. It makes him relax.”</p>
<p>Jaskier’s head swims by the time the door opens and Geralt, Eskel and Ciri step inside. At least now he knows how to ease Geralt’s bad mood a little. Lambert seems to be really nice, indeed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi again!<br/>So, the main part of the story is finished!<br/>Thank you so much for your support❤️</p><p> </p><p>However, I have written a thing or two about how it goes from here – Geralt’s reaction, family time, etc. If you’d like to read it, please, let me know!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lambert is a piece of shit. Geralt, of course, knew it before, but now he is absolutely certain. </p><p>The thing is, Jaskier is being weird and it’s obviously Lambert’s fault as yesterday Jaskier was more or less normal and after half an hour with Lambert alone he’s acting like a psycho. </p><p>He keeps singing, for starters. Ciri, at least, is ecstatic about it.</p><p>“Papa is alright!” She beams at Geralt, because yes, Jaskier always sings when he’s happy, but clearly now is not the case. </p><p>“Don’t hesitate to raise the volume, Geralt.” </p><p>Jaskier keeps saying that, pointing at the radio. </p><p>Why would Geralt want the stupid, mushy song to play even louder is a big fucking question. When he tries to change the station Jaskier promptly forbids it. </p><p>“I know you like it.” He says. </p><p>“I don’t.”</p><p>“Aw, don’t you be so shy.”</p><p>So, it’s a disaster. As if this whole mess wasn’t bad enough. </p><p>What’s even worse is that Jaskier keeps hitting on Eskel. Geralt hates it when Jaskier flirts with someone who isn’t him. Jaskier knows it and does it intentionally, to annoy him. So, it’s either Jaskier is mad at him for something or his new-self, that doesn’t remember loving Geralt, is engrossed with Eskel. </p><p>“Would you stop?” Geralt growls when Jaskier compliments Eksel’s hair. <i>Again. </i></p><p>“What?” Jaskier blinks at him, his eyes innocent. Lambert sniggers.  </p><p>“Lambert?” Jaskier turns his head slowly, suspicion clear on his pale face. </p><p>Lambert leaves the room, but Geralt can still hear his laughter. He’s going to kill him. Eskel can watch after Ciri while he’s in prison, it’ll be fine. </p><p>***</p><p>“And what about your preferences on pink and baby blue?”</p><p>“Hate them.”</p><p>“Fuck.” Jaskier sighs. “Your brother is such an ass.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“You look like you want to maim him. Please don’t. I like him.”</p><p>“You just said he’s an ass.”</p><p>“Yeah, but still.”</p><p>***</p><p>That night Ciri falls asleep in his bed. She lays so still, careful not to disturb him even in her sleep. Jaskier is overwhelmed with feelings he can’t place. When nurse comes in and tells Geralt they can’t stay any longer, Jaskier is reluctant to let go of her, and when he is alone in his room he can still smell her soft strawberry shampoo on his pillow. </p><p>
  <i>Jaskier dreams of bonfire. It’s big and hot and he can almost smell burning wood.<br/>
He holds Ciri in his arms, her face is alight with red and orange and her eyes are so excited and happy it makes Jaskier’s heart stutter. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Papa, can I touch?” She asks. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No, love, it will burn you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“But it is pretty!” Ciri insists. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I know, baby. But pretty things can be dangerous sometimes.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Can daddy touch?” Ciri asks then. “He is brave. He held a spider today.”</i>
</p><p>Jaskier laughs so hard he wakes up. The dream, unlike many others, does not dissolve. It’s as clear as a memory. </p><p>
  <i>Memory. </i>
</p><p>Jaskier smiles in his dark room. There’re tears in his eyes but he could hardly be happier.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you’d like to let me know you want read the continuation of a story, give some constructive criticism or much appreciated validation you can also come and talk to me on tumblr! It’s stacyholmes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thank you for all your kudos and comments! Here’s some more intakes for you, beautiful people! ❤️</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s still nighttime, maybe very early morning. It’s definitely <i>not </i>the time to call Geralt. So Jaskier lies awake for as long as he can. By the time cold light starts filtering through the blinds on the window Jaskier’s patience all but run out, so he grabs his brand new phone left for him by Eskel and looks through the contacts. There are only three of them, and he dials Geralt’s number with slightly shaking fingers. </p><p>Geralt, to his surprise, picks up immediately. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Comes worried voice and Jaskier can’t help it when he laughs. </p><p>“I’m absolutely peachy, Geralt. I <i>remembered</i>.” He has to pause to catch his breath. Geralt is silent, but it’s okay, because Jaskier has so much to say. “I remembered bonfire. I held Ciri in my arms and she asked to touch the fire. I remembered it.”</p><p>It’s still early when Geralt bursts into his room, alone. </p><p>“Where’s Ciri?” Jaskier asks immediately. He doesn’t want to lose any more time with his daughter, not when he finally started to get his memories back. It’s only been couple of days but suddenly it feels like a lifetime. </p><p>“With Vesemir.” Geralt answers, lowering himself in a chair. “How did you remember?”</p><p>“In a dream.” Jaskier confesses. “It was magical, really. I thought I was dreaming, but it doesn’t feel like dream anymore. It’s so real. I remember how it feels to hold her, remember her voice, not like it is now, but younger, more childish.”</p><p>Jaskier is so unbelievably happy about it, if still a little bit lost about everything else. He feels almost weightless, and so goddamn powerful, as if he could do anything now that his mind is no longer completely void. </p><p>Geralt, however, doesn’t seem to share the sentiment. He breathes heavily and hides his face in his hands. </p><p>“Geralt? Are you alright?” Jaskier asks, his bright mood dimming a little. “I know it’s not much, but-“</p><p>Suddenly there’re strong hand around him, encompassing him, holding him so tight he has a hard time breathing properly. Tangled white hair tickle his face, and he smiles softly. </p><p>“It’s enough.” Geralt mumbles. “More than enough.”</p><p>Jaskier hugs him back with one hand, the one without needle in it, and holds him as tight as he can. </p><p>“It was her shampoo, I think.” He whispers. “The smell lingered on my pillow and I fell asleep thinking about her. Perhaps it triggered something in my damaged brain.”</p><p>“Your beautiful, brilliant brain,” Geralt sighs, loosening his hold on Jaskier and dropping to his knees by his bed. “It knows exactly what it’s doing. You’re coming back to me, lark.” </p><p> </p><p>After this, memories keep coming back to Jaskier, slowly but surely. He remembers Lambert drinking with him in some dirty pub, remembers Eskel coming to pick them up and carrying him to the car to take him home. But, most importantly, he remembers his first meeting with Geralt. </p><p>
  <i>He’s just graduated, high on happiness and vodka, and there’re too many people around but he likes it. The night has already fallen, he’s singing karaoke really badly due to intoxication and there’s a man sitting in a booth decidedly not looking at him. Jaskier, just as decidedly, doesn’t like it. He hops off the stage and marches towards the man on unsteady feet. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“So, how did you like my little show?” He asks. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Hmm.” Is all he gets. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Oh, come on. Rate it. Three words or less.”</i>
</p><p>Jaskier turns his head to see Geralt failing at braiding Ciri’s hair. </p><p>“Geralt?” He asks, only tiny bit nervous. “Three words or less?”</p><p>Geralt watches him for a long moment, his face is ever so serious. He lets go of half done braid and it quickly untangles itself. </p><p>“I love you.” He finally says. Jaskier might just start crying.</p>
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